Supporting caregivers through burnout so they “don’t become a patient themselves” is becoming a pressing issue as the role often forces individuals to neglect their own physical and mental health. Roughly half of Canadians will take on a caregiving role at some point in their lives, whether for a family member or a loved one. The demands of the job can be overwhelming, often leaving self-care on the back burner until burnout sets in.
The weight of the role
Almost three-quarters of caregivers feel so burnt out they don’t know if they can keep going. This exhaustion comes from managing a loved one’s day-to-day life, booking medical appointments, and handling medications. The pressure is constant, with Jacqui Murphy, co-founder of Elderella, noting that when a caregiver’s 24 hours must accommodate 48 hours of tasks, something has to give.
It is not just the direct care that drains energy. Caregivers also juggle the logistics of life, such as balancing their own work commitments with the needs of the person they support. Amy Coupal, CEO of the Ontario Caregiver Organization, points out that caregivers often worry about returning to work or balancing care with parenting. They may also face a financial burden, paying out-of-pocket for medical supplies or changing their own work arrangements to accommodate the care needs.
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When wellness practices like nutrition, exercise, and sleep are pushed aside, both the body and the mind suffer. The sheer volume of responsibility can make it feel impossible to escape the stress, leading many to view their situation as a continuous, open-ended struggle rather than a manageable phase.
Building a support network
Simply telling a caregiver to “practice self-care” often falls flat because there is no time to do it. Jacqui Murphy explains that she would love to meditate or attend a retreat, but the reality is that someone is always tapping her on the shoulder. Meaningful conversations about how health and wellness can be managed in a caregiving context are necessary to prevent caregivers from becoming patients themselves.
The solution often involves building a care team. Murphy compares this to a cancer diagnosis where friends bring food, but notes that simply asking “What can I do?” can actually add more work to the caregiver’s plate. To be effective, the team must be privy to everything happening in real time. For example, if five siblings are caring for a parent, everyone should know the schedule, medications, and appointments. This allows each person to take on duties without the primary caregiver having to constantly update them.
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Support can also come from unexpected places. Murphy suggests including neighbors, community groups, or even regular cleaning staff in the care circle. She notes that having 20 people on a care team can provide the autonomy needed to handle duties without becoming overwhelmed. This approach moves away from vague offers of help to a structured system where everyone knows their role.
Small shifts in mindset
Planning for self-care can be difficult when schedules change week to week, but identifying small moments for rest can make a difference. Amy Coupal shares an example of a caregiver who finds their break simply by going through a drive-through alone for 20 minutes. Knowing that break exists changes the perspective on the day.
For those who cannot find large blocks of time, focusing on “glimmers”—small moments of beauty or relief—can help. Jacqui Murphy suggests training oneself to look for these moments, such as appreciating fresh air or a beautiful sunset. While this may feel like a small step, architecting a mindset that looks for these positives can help caregivers handle the “huge mountain” of their responsibilities, one small moment at a time.
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